Is It you, I've been waiting for
by JazzyJetts
Summary: Love seemed easy as child, so carefree and comforting, I didn't realise it was only going to get harder, silly me... I guess. My mum always told me, he's out there somewhere just wait and see. you just wait and see...
1. I'm Here

Sometimes I find myself asking` why is love connected to our hearts?' It flows and pumps blood, keeping us warm, no other reason. But when we get hurt by love we feel it in our chest, who's not to say it's not our lungs, struggling for breath, the tightening of our chest from wanted to cry, or perhaps not in the chest the stomach just the sickness from being heartbroken. But no it's our heart strings, pulling to let you know the pain is real, and the thing you mostly didn't want to happen is happening or just maybe it's asking for you not to put your heart through the pain again. And you listen and agree thinking the hurt is not worth it, but sometimes you just can't help but fall in love...

**I'm here, Chapter One.**

"Pick up the phone; please I know you're there..." I rolled eyes, tears falling. "I'm worried about you... I don't know what else to say, please just... just call me." He sighed before hanging up, the dead beat tone sounding through.

The words, I'm sorry, I love you, I really do but this just isn't me, I can't do this anymore; seem ...well they seem feeble most of the time, but yet somewhat a valuable lesson. How can you really love someone if they can't sacrifice anything for you? Did I really love you if the you that I met wasn't you? You may probably be confused, but one day you might understand, I hope not though, heartache hurts and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, not even you... the one I once thought I loved, the one who doesn't seem affected by our break up, but even still I wish you the best, I honestly do. I think I always knew I'm not the one, I felt that in the beginning of our relationship, I also knew that you weren't, so this shouldn't hurt, I should accept this and move on, but as time moved on for us, we got to know each other more and overall I think I started to delude myself into thinking that we were perfect, we had our little jerks at each other but who doesn't, it's normal, but somehow we weren't the one.

I crawled off the floor sluggishly, my hands hitting the corner of the table as I walked, I grimaced in pain; I didn't have it in me to say `ouch' out loud. I held my injured hand to my chest the present remaining tears fell on my red marked skin, it was somewhat soothing, I rubbed it in lightly, soon feeling silly I wiped the damp tears on the back of my shirt. I sighed and dapped at my wet eyes with the corner of my sleeve, I dragged my feet to the kitchen, getting a glass off the rack, I filled it to the top and drank till it was all gone, I refilled it again, but stared out the window instead, it captured me, maybe it was the dirt, or maybe it was our bench, but I think I would rather lie to myself and say it was the dirt, I threw the water out of the glass down the sink watching it swirl down. I left, I literally left it didn't feel like my home anymore, how could it even resemble a home if only one person was living in it. No warmth filled the atmosphere, no happiness bounced off the walls. It was empty and cold, and I'm leaving it to you.

With each step I took towards the main bedroom, I felt more and more as though I didn't belong, I knew then it was the right decision to leave, he thought he was being kind by leaving me the house, giving me the assumption he had somewhere to stay meaning he was seeing someone. But he told me I was being silly, that he was going to live the life of motels, just until a place caught his eye. And now it's time for a switch, only a permanent switch, he could have the stable roof over his head, and I have the unknown, even in the midst of that being, I knew it was right. Grabbing my largest suitcase, I threw all my clothes in there, I had no time to fold them neatly, I felt as though I had a time limit, I pushed all the things on the dresser into the suitcase, zipping it up. Next my shoes, I found another suitcase and scanned over my shoes, weighing the chance of they might not all fit in, I didn't care I would make them. I searched like a maniac for my toiletry bag, finding it tucked away in the corner of the walk in wardrobe. I rushed to the bathroom grabbing my essentials, tossing them in. The suitcase's dropped down each step on the staircase, leaving them by the front door. Picking up my phone, I searched for the person who was on my mind, dialling it, waiting for him to answer.

"Esme, why haven't you been picking up, I been so worried, I thought you'd done something stupid, I was just about to come over there to check on you!" he exclaimed out of breathe. My voice faltered, but I had to find it, so I could be free.

"You were on your way here?" I breathed.

"Yes, like I said I thought you had done something stupid."

"Well umm, no I just been busy, I'm sorry, are you still coming over?"

"Not now that I know you're okay, unless you need me?" I shouldn't have but I did, for a second I thought there was a double meaning in his words. I kicked myself mentally.

"Yes." I whispered. "But bring all your things please."

"Uhh why, nothings gonna change I'm sorry." I blinked back the tears.

"I didn't mean it in that way, just please pack all your stuff and come here, I have to go now, see you in a bit." I clicked the red button, it burned my thumb.

I paced unsure of how I was going to tell him, yes he was most likely to be shocked and disagree, but it wasn't my problem anymore, I only knew that I couldn't spend another night in this house. Minutes passed as they always do, sometimes it drags making you wish time would go faster and others going by so fast, you end up wishing you had more time. Me I was in between, and now I was by the door opening it to him.

"What's going on Esme?" he demanded.

"Umm there's something I want to talk to you about." I squeaked, he sighed and pushed past me.

"Well go on, I really haven't got all day!"

"I'm leaving." I said calmly.

"you rang me to come all the way over here, just to say your leaving, and you thought what exactly, that I'd come along with you?" he near shouted.

"No, I rang you to come here, because as I'm leaving you can have the house, okay?, I didn't call you to come with me, wherever I decide to go!" my voice stopped, I was lost for the words that were about leave my mouth, but he needed to understand that I understood the break up . "You made it quite clear that you no longer want me, so I'm moving on." I whisper. He blinked, Standing up straight.

"I gave the house to you; it's your responsibility now, not mine. And what do you mean wherever you decide to fucking go, what's the point in giving me the house, when you don't even know where you're going." He stared at me, dead in the eye. I felt small.

"Why, you did? And maybe I do know where I am going." I argued.

"I gave you the house because I can't afford it on my own, so what makes you think I can now." So much for giving me the house out of kindness.

"Oh so you think I could pay for the house on my own yeah? Because I'm rolling in money aren't I?" pissed wasn't the word for my mood at this precise moment.

"Well, your parents are, you could always go running to them for money, like you always do." `Clap' I heard the noise before I felt the sting on my palm. I looked at him, he was holding his cheek, I guess I slapped him. Good.

"You know what Esme; I can't be dealing with all your stupid shity childishness. The shouting at me, slapping me, the `maybe I do know where I'm going'." He imitated me. "If you're going, then fucking leave already."

"Thank fuck for that." I stated, before picking up my suitcases before walking out of the house forever. I could feel the shock look bore in my back, I very rarely swore, but for that it felt appropriate. And now here I was sitting in my car, wondering where on earth do I go now? Guess I could drive around for awhile; check out some nice looking motels. not always the best of places motels but that's all I've got for now.

**please go easy on me, its my first fanfiction XD**

**I dont own twilight... sadly.**

**please review, let me know what you think and improvment I need to make  
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	2. Facing It Alone

Love seemed easy as child, so carefree and comforting, I didn't realise it was only going to get harder, silly me... I guess. My mum always told me, he's out there somewhere just wait and see, just wait and see. So I did, and I thought I had found him. But I now know what thought did. I remember the day when mum told me about being heartbroken. She said `every heart break is different, for many different reasons, the only similarities is that it hurts, it's as though the whole world has been spun upside down, and were trying to hang on so tightly that our palms get sweaty and we lose grasp of everything and ourselves, and we cry on the way down because we're afraid of what were going to face next. From that day on I promised myself I would never fall in love. Oh why didn't I keep my promise...?

**Facing it alone, Chapter Two.**

"Here's your room key; number 21 and we hope you find it comfortable here." The girl at the front desk said bubbly, but its fake; she doesn't want to be here anymore then I do, but we both have no choice, she has to work, and this motel is the closes one to my procedure of work. Rolling my suitcases along the pebbled surface, I searched for my door, my second home for a little while or at least I hoped for a little while. My wearing wheels came to a halt, as I found my door, I slipped the key in and open the door, but it felt like I was opening the door to the next part of my life.

Stepping inside, I took in the surroundings, single bed; single was the cheapest option to go for. A small TV; again cheapest. Sat on a rotting table; the left front leg looked as though it was about to snap. One stool, with a small table; convenience. Popping my head over the door way, I saw the bathroom was not much better. A toilet which needed desperate attending to. A sink with increasing lime scale. And last but not least a shower; guess I Won't even be able to relax in a bath. Sweeping the curtain open, the first thing that hit me was the mouldy tiles, and brown corners of the shower. How did this place even have a license, I mean I'm not the posh snobby type like my parents, but still even I had standards, and my standard didn't include, with my stomach wanting to bring up its contents.

Now I know what you're thinking; you're thinking `why don't I just go live with my parent's, for awhile. Well the truth is, is that they would judge me like there's no tomorrow. And I just couldn't deal with that right now. So my only option was to stay here, catch up on my work, and hope a place comes up soon.

I would have to bear it whilst I at least try to make this place a temporary home. I couldn't grin; I had no reason to.

When I finished scrubbing and freshening the place up, I sat down and stared around, tears started to well up, I rubbed them away; I didn't want to feel sorry for myself, this was my decision. I didn't know what to do with myself, other then go for a drive. Picking up my room key, I attached it to my main set of keys, and opened the door. As I walked out, a blonde man came rushing past and following behind two more men. The blonde man turned round and looked at me, he jogged back over.

"Excuse me miss?" He breathed, catching his breath. "Do you know where room 42 is?"

"I don't sorry; I've only just got here." I told him. He smiled and thanked me for my time, and off he was again. I sighed and stalked to my car, clicking the lock on my key, I slid in and started up, I found myself once again not knowing where I was going. I sighed again and just drove. It was peaceful, probably the most peace I've had or felt in ages. I had to work in the morning so stay out late was out of the question. Driving back I listened to the radio and with that came adverts and the depressing music they tend to play on night times. My eyes filled with sad wetness, I knew I would be okay one day, but when was that day going to come? By the end of today? Tomorrow? Next week? I highly doubted. A month? A couple of months? At least I had a little bit of hope in that time space.

Slotting my key in the door, I was unwelcomed by a stench, and it wasn't the nice fragranced smell I left this room in. It was making me heave, I kept thinking of the mould which wasn't helping, but I had to find the hideous smell. Sniffing the carpet I realised it wasn't that, good. Sniffing the barely there curtains, I knew it also wasn't them. No mould was mounted on the edges of the windows anymore, no more mould in the bathroom either. But it was in the bathroom that the stench was the worst, leaning over the basin of the sink, I could barely sniff, the smell filled my mouth and this time, I really thought I was going to be sick. Launching myself over the toilet, I gagged and choked for air, clean air. I gagged more but I stopped myself from being sick. I wanted to complain about this.

Leaving my room for the second time today, I headed for the front desk, I didn't know what they were going to do about it but they needed to do something.

"Hey, is there something wrong?" the girl said it was the same one from this morning. Her tone was fake again and I quite clearly understood that she assumed straight away that something was wrong, was this a regular occurrence? I hoped not.

"Yes actually to start with, when I got into my room it certainly looked as though it had not been attended to for months, not checked and cleaned daily. And secondly, mainly the reason why I'm here, I scrubbed and cleaned my room for the majority of the morning and afternoon, then I go out with my room smelling fresh and then I come back to a horrid stench coming from the sink in the bathroom which is making me feel quite ill, so thirdly, what are you going to do about it?" I demanded. She blinked and apologised.

"they have been doing this for awhile blocking up, making funny smells, the amount of complaints we have had, like I said I apologise and this is all I can do for you I'm afraid." She handed over a can of spray. This time it was my turn to blink at her.

"I have one of these back in my own damn room, surely I wouldn't have come down here for one of those if I ready had one would I?" she didn't answer me, instead going quite red in the face, guess I was embarrassing her and her Momence stupidity. "Does this happen often? Because I'm going to be here for awhile not just for tonight. If I was only going to be here tonight, I wouldn't have bothered wasting my time by scrubbing the place." She seemed to think about her choice of words before speaking them out loud. Wise.

"We have called the plumbing people many times and they said they would be here, sometimes they show up and others they don't, and sometimes I think when they do show up they don't even look to see what is causing this `stench' but they charger us through the nose anyway." I'd had enough by now, I just wanted to sleep. She apologised again, and began putting the can of spray away.

"Hey I never said I didn't want it, I just said I already had one." I grabbed it from her hand and walked away. Another one would come on handy sometime while I'm here. Going back to my room I sprayed in the bathroom first and used half the can I swear, then I sprayed the rest of the room to rid of the foul smell. It didn't cover it completely, but it masked enough to forget about it for awhile. I then realised that between the stench and the front desk situation that it distracted me from my world, my life. Perhaps getting on with life was a lot better than sitting it out sulking or in my case remembering.

**I know there really short chapters at the moment but as it gets more into the story hopefully they will be longer.**

**again I dont own twilight.**

**please please please reveiw, I would really like to hear what you think, i dont mind if there good comments or bad comments either way I can learn from them :D **

**Also can you guess who the blonde man is ;] and if you can guess who that is can you guess who the other man that Esme was with... ;]**

**hope you enjoy~ Pixie XD**


	3. Fighting Of Losing

Plans, I had plans. Only one problem with that sentence though isn't there? The word had. It's funny how you make these plans but sometimes never see them through, like planning your entire life out as a little girl; yeah that most definitely does not happen according to the made plan. And that's just too bad, but we still try for the life we dreamt of, planned during our years of growth, but changing our minds time and time again, thinking this time it's perfect. And that's what I thought you were, my perfectness. Guess most of the time I was high on delirium.

**Fighting Of Losing, Chapter 3.**

Normally it is your eyes to open first thing in the morning, but not this morning, for me it was my nose. The blockage stench still lingered around the room, it wasn't as overwhelming as last night but still enough to give you morning nausea, I grabbed my friendly spray and pressed down the clip till the room filled with freshness. I was to start a new today and the only way to do that was to start with as smile, I tried but it was only a small one. Toeing my way to the bathroom I grimaced at the shower although it was now clean, it didn't feel like it. After showering and dressing, I left making sure I had my key. Seeing a vending machine on passing I stopped and selected a few items not the healthiest things for breakfast but I didn't care, and it didn't matter to me at the moment. Work was more than just a drag and a bore it was unbearable, focus wasn't my better of the day. I was still losing and I knew it.

"Are you going to lunch later Esme?" Elizabeth asked softly. My stomach felt ill but mentally I wasn't hungry.

"No, I'm not quite hungry, thank you." I smile a little, but my stomach had other ideas then me missing out on lunch.

"Well I think your body disagrees." Elizabeth laughs, and then turns serious. "I'm taking you out for lunch, so finish what you're doing, freshen up a little then come knock on my door, so we can go." Protesting would be no good, she was telling me, not asking me. My stomach growled again and I guess I was physically hungry.

If I were to say that this setting wasn't the least bit odd, then I would be lying. The whole arrangement was odd. Elizabeth never comes over and speaks to me, let alone going for lunch. So to tell you the truth this setting is and has definitely hit an odd patch, why should she want to be friends with me now, she been here for eight months and had ample opportunities to speak to me and make plenty conversations. It bugged me, did I seem like I needed a friend? A shoulder? But still why? I have been polite to her said the `hello's, goodbye's' did she need someone? Could I be there for her when I can barely get myself together? Right now I was wishing I had protested to coming, it would have been better sitting here looking at my lap.

"So what do you want?" Elizabeth smiled. I looked up to see our server waiting to take our orders; I picked up the menu and scanned quickly.

"Just a chicken wrap thanks."

"Ooh good choice, can I have two chicken wraps please." Odd. Even her tone sounded fake, not towards the server, but towards me. Odd.

"Would you like extra mayo with them?" the server asked, we shook our heads no.

"What drinks would you like?" the server didn't sound fake, but more of a forced effort, he seemed troubled.

"Still water please." I said quickly.

"Diet coke." Elizabeth asked. And with that he whisked away for our orders.

"So how are you?" she questions, not looking at me. I frown but answer as good as I could.

"Um...good, Fine, perfect, you?" I fumbled. Yeah, I didn't think it would go so great either.

"I'm alright it's you that doesn't seem It." she stared.

"What would make you say that? I mean what would make you think that? I'm absolutely fine." I don't think lying to yourself so much is good. But this time she doesn't stare neither is it gentle look, but more of an `are you derange?' look. I don't blame her I would look at myself like that; I need to grab my cool and quick, well I would if I knew where it was. I'm losing and I'm losing fast.

Thankfully the server was back with our drinks and wraps. "Is this okay ladies?" he asks, doing his job.

"Yes, thank you, how much would this be?" I say, he tells us and we pay for each of our own, he smiles when he see the tip he has earned and he thanks me. Again Elizabeth is staring at me.

"What?"

"Big tip much?"

"He was a good server, what can I say?" I sigh.

"Hmm he was right." she snorts.

"Pardon?"

"nothing." She smiles, but there was the fakeness again.

"No you said he was right, explain" I demanded. What was she on about?

"Honestly its nothing." She smiles again. Fake. I'd had enough of people being fake. Before I could question her again, an arm flew in front of my face.

"Sauceee please." A little boy no older than four asked. I couldn't see his whole face only his forehead and the hair on his head. His arm which was still in front of my face was quenching in reach for the `sauceee' as he called it. A familiar blonde man came over and claimed his?... I don't know what he was claiming.

"Jasper son, what have I told you, that it's rude to pester people, and I did say that we would get some sauce from our server. Sorry ladies, come on son, let's leave these ladies in peace." The blonde man picks up Jasper and smiles at him then to us. His eyes search mine. I recognised him. Does he recognise me?

"You're the lady from the other day right?" he asks politely. Yes he does.

"Yesterday actually." I say.

"Oh that's rights sorry, time just passes me by, half the time I have no idea what day it is." He explains.

"I know the feeling." I'm on automatic, that wasn't by far meant to leave my mouth but it did and I needed a quick recovery line. "I, uhh, well, I mean I'm not a paramedic but I'm guessing you find that a lot ...?" oh great recovery Esme, just great.

He smiles again, he's too nice. Surely he must see I'm an idiot? "No no, I'm not a paramedic, I'm a doctor, I was called for personally to come and collect them."

"That makes sense." Just shut up, Christ of course it does, he's a doctor, you heard him. I wish I were in a better state of mind.

"Well, we better go before, your food gets cold and in fact ours too, right little man?" jasper nodded his head.

"Bye ladies." And with that he leaves.

"Ooh what was that about?" Elizabeth chides. I almost forgot she was here. Shame she was.

"Nothing. Like you said." I'm being childish and I know it.

"Oh come one Esme. This clearly is something have you seen how hot he is, and you are on the market, you should go for it." She winks. I frown.

"And your nothing was clearly a something to, and how do you know I'm single?" like I said I don't talk to Elizabeth much, so how would she know? Suspicions started to build up.

"Again nothing and nothing you just seemed upset lately so, I assumed that... well yeah, you get it." This time she wasn't fake, but only she couldn't look at me whilst she said this.

"I don't believe you, you know something, and I know you do." I accuse.

"I consider you to be a friend to me Esme." I scoff. "But I just can't tell you this he would have my head, well not literally, but he would be angry. And there she goes with the he again. But this time I have worked it out.

"Edward!" I exclaimed. She looks worried. "It is, tell me what is going on now!" demanding wasn't the word, I practically screamed. Yeah, I'm still losing.

"Will you keep your voice down, people are looking. And firstly it's none of your business what he does now, you're not together anymore it's not my fault he found you boring. Second it's not my fault he found you boring." Wow. This felt like a kick in the teeth. No a kick in the teeth would be less painful.

"No your right I guess it's not, but he said he wasn't with anyone, and that we weren't just working out for him." And with that I felt stupid, humiliated and naive. "you." Was all I had to say, could say for the moment.

"yeah." She sighs. She fucking sighs. Does she have no remorse?

"What do you mean yeah? And you better give me a straight answer because I'm not messing around here now." I say, offering her something I shouldn't have a life line.

"I guess I'm the reason why he is not with you anymore."...

"Yes we have established that, well I have. What else?"

Was I being unreasonable? Yes. No. Probably? Am I in my rights to know why? No. Yes.

"put it this way he enjoyed more of a fuck with me then with you, like I said he found you boring, oh and that your parents had quite a bit of money so that meant you probably did too." She quoted and shrugged.

"He left me because he found me boring in the bedroom?" I beyond whispered. I was more then embarrassed and wish I had not asked. I ignored the other quote it wasn't worth it, it wasn't my fault my parents had money from being successful.

"Yeah he said, you wouldn't let him do half the stuff I let him do." I felt sick and her smirking wasn't helping.

"So what is this whole getting together, friendly friendly shit? To rub it in? Guilt? See what I'm like to so you will not be like me so you won't have to get your heart broken?" I cried. Yeah, I'm crying and I can't stop. I don't know how. And to top it off she doesn't answer me. "Don't talk to me ever again. I just, I can't believe, you know what it doesn't matter, its already happened." I walk away as fast as I can. Only thinking it does matter. And yeah, I've lost.

**ahahaha I know this sounds really depressing at the moment but it will pick up eventually, when I can not tell you I'm kinda just writing stuff as I go along things I didnt even plan on going in here. ahahah ahh well, but yeah it will pick up. :D**

**I dont own twilight, and I will just have to learn to accept that ;]**

**I hope you enjoy and I beg you please please please review. I dont wanna feel as though I'm writing this for no reason, so if you wanna spread your love around, save some for me and review XD ~ Pixie :D**


	4. Not Just Somebody But You

I didn't take to losing quite so well as a child. I hated it. I was the competitive type, dad would say `never mind, better luck next time kid.' To that I would stare at him, of which he would laugh at, I didn't find it funny, losing was never good in my eyes, it showed you were weak, it showed people your lousy obvious tactics, or in this case all the places to prod till I cry. Ultimately losing. How can you be thick skinned one moment and not the next? Sometimes I wish I learned how to turn the other cheek...

**Not just somebody but you, Chapter 4.**

It proves what can happen when you don't know somebody that well. How much of a bitch they can be. How they can sit there and watch you suffer. Not all are back stabbers, I admit. But you get your fare few. Sadly I was partners with one and a work colleague with the other. A liar and a tart equally make up of as rats. Except I expect rats are a lot cleaner than those two; their dirty and I wish I had seen it before.

It had been a long day, and nothing would make the rest of my day better, than for it to be tomorrow. I was drained and looking forward to sleep, I knew how I was going to go to sleep as it had already started; crying. The tears wouldn't stop falling and I found it hard to see the road. I didn't cry all afternoon once I had learned the truth; I need to get on with work that was my only distraction to stop them. And now I can't stop the tears, you would have thought driving would have been enough of a distraction. But it wasn't, my struggling to see only made it harder to breathe. I had to pull over. A few deep breaths and I nearly had my breathing stable. But the tears still lingered on my cheeks and in the rim of my eyes. Wiping them away I put the radio on; more stupid depressing love songs. I changed the station and settled for an old favourite song of mine. Before I knew it I was pulling off and muttering along with the words.

It was 1989, my thoughts were short my hair was long  
>Caught somewhere between a boy and man<br>She was seventeen and she was far from in-between  
>It was summertime in Northern Michigan<br>Ahh Ahh Ahh  
>Ahh Ahh Ahh<p>

Splashing through the sand bar  
>Talking by the campfire<br>It's the simple things in life, like when and where  
>We didn't have no internet<br>But man I never will forget  
>The way the moonlight shined upon her hair<p>

And we were trying different things  
>We were smoking funny things<br>Making love out by the lake to our favorite song  
>Sipping whiskey out the bottle, not thinking 'bout tomorrow<p>

Singing Sweet home Alabama all summer long  
>Singing Sweet home Alabama all summer long<p>

Catching Walleye from the dock  
>Watching the waves roll off the rocks<br>She'll forever hold a spot inside my soul  
>We'd blister in the sun<br>We couldn't wait for night to come  
>To hit that sand and play some rock and roll<p>

While we were trying different things  
>And we were smoking funny things<br>Making love out by the lake to our favorite song  
>Sipping whiskey out the bottle, not thinking 'bout tomorrow<br>Singing Sweet Home Alabama all summer long  
>Singing Sweet Home Alabama all summer long<p>

Now nothing seems as strange as when the leaves began to change  
>Or how we thought those days would never end<br>Sometimes I'll hear that song and I'll start to sing along  
>And think man I'd love to see that girl again<p>

I cut the engine off and the music stopped. Silence filling the air. It was nice. Wiping away a few more tears that had fallen, I opened the door and yep there was that stench again. I breathed in for some health unpolluted air and held my breath till I sprayed around the room again. I need to look for a decent place with no foul stenches, and fake front desk girls. I needed some where real. A home, no not a home; I couldn't call a place of my own a home not with only me inside of it. It seemed lonely otherwise.

I brushed my teeth, slipped into some comfy night clothes and started round three of the tears today.

It wasn't the stench that woke me up and it wasn't my alarm; that wasn't due for another ten minutes. Nope it was my phone. And low and behold it's him. Should I answer it? Yes. No. Did I want to answer it? No. Yes. Why? I didn't know. So I gave in and did.

"Good your there, listen..." he started. I wasn't having it.

"No you listen to me, not only have you woke me up, you lied to me and with one of my work colleagues, and did you even stop to think about me?... just don't answer that of course you didn't otherwise..." I trailed off.

"Well I'm sorry I woke you up, just I have a busy schedule today and now was the only time I had free. And I didn't lie to you so I have no idea what you're talking about on that one and umm yeah I guess." He sheepishly admitted.

"Oh look once again your lying and yeah I guess isn't an answer neither a reason as to why you done it." My head hurt a lot, I needed aspirin. I was just getting out of bed when he started speaking again, this time I wasn't listening; I just let him carry on talking. I couldn't be bothered to listen to his excuses. I deserved more than that. Reaching the bathroom the stench was poking his head back through, I couldn't help but think elimination time; but to who was the question him, her or the stench? Hmm tricky...

"Are you there?... hello?... Esme will you answer me!"he shouted. Ouch.

"I do have an ear you know, mind not shouting down it."

"Well how about you use your ears then I wouldn't have to shout to get your damn attention."

"Whatever, what did you actually want?"Rude or not I don't care anymore.

"well I guess you know now so I'm glad that's out there. And wanted to know where you are." He huffed.

"Edward you lied to me, and it's not just somebody that lied to me, it was you so how can you possibly say that you're glad it's out now? You would have told me before if you wanted it out. But no you hurt me instead... And it's none of your business where I am." Hello petty side, where did you come from? Ahh well. It was only now that I realised that I was either being petty or half joking about things. I guess it was easier for me to deal with it that way. It seemed that way at least.

"Esme I have no idea what you are talking about what have I lied to you about, please enlighten me."

"You told me and quote that I `can have the house.' So I assumed at the time that you were seeing someone. And guess what I was right, but you told me and again I quote I` was being silly' and that you were `gonna live the life of motels' you happy now?"

"Oh, oh um oh, yeah I did didn't I." It wasn't really a question it was a statement. But I answered anyway.

"Yes, you did. And as much as I am enjoying our little conversation here, I would appreciate it if you tell me anything I should know, maybe something else you have perhaps lied to me about, before I decided to hang up and carry on with my life as though you and I didn't happen." It was a lie, how can you forget your first break up, like it hurts and I'm guessing you just don't forget this kind of pain.

"Maybe we should talk it out over I don't know over diner or something?" he merely asked. I laughed. I had to.

"Really diner, wow. Yeah I think were past all of that diners and stuff, it should be your tart you take out and treat." I'm stooping low now. I was taught better but again Ahh well.

"Esme, compromise with me here." I wanted to laugh but in truth it's not funny.

"You know what fine, name the place, time and day." Being desperate to find out the truth is never a good thing. Never.

"Our old restaurant and 6:30, tomorrow."...

"Thanks for the kick in the gut our old restaurant are you being serious?"

"I just thought you would find it more comfortable there than anywhere else."... Pathetic.

"Jesus your killing me here you know this right, how could you possibly even consider in a fraction that I would find it comfortable now?"

"Fine for fuck sakes Esme, where do you wanna go?" umm...

"I don't know pizza hut?"

"fabulous." He said fatly. "Well I'll see you there then. Bye."

"Yeah bye, oh and your paying." And before he could say anything, I hung up. I refuse to pay when he took my money for granted and spread the word it to his current what? Current fuck buddy, girlfriend... whatever it doesn't matter what she is.

For once my morning shower felt like the best thing on this goddamned earth. Shame it had to end when the cold started spitting through. I could have stayed there all day, well if I didn't have work. Ugh. Work. No point sulking I guess... just get on with it... If possible.

I walked in with my head held as high as I could make it go, which believe me wasn't far. I was ashamed to think of myself in this position. I did the only thing I could do was go straight to my office and file more design works papers. And well design design design. That's all there is to the works of interior designing, I didn't have any clients at the moment to which I am grateful for. I loved my job but I was fearful of having to give it up; but I didn't want to give it up just because of that tart.

"Esme?" ugh now who? "Esme? You in here?" it was my boss. All is good. For now.

"Yeah in here, Jane."

"Oh you're looking pale sweet, sure you're okay to work?" she asked concerned. It wasn't fake. I had to smile; it was the best voice I had heard in days.

"I'm fine." I smiled. "Something you want or need?"

"Okay well if you feel a bit down later then go straight home, you really don't look to good, honestly." Thanks boss, nice to know you're my invisible mirror. "And umm I was just wondering how you feel about having a client next week?" she was the only person who knew about my break up, she gave me a week off, that was all she could offer. Shame a week wasn't all I needed.

"Umm yeah that would be fine. I mean it's my job to do this, of course it will be fine." I'm rambling again. Jeez. She smiled anyhow.

"That's great. If you wanna write this down a minute sweet." I grabbed my record book full of client's names and addresses and payments. "Mrs Victoria Stoke. 832 park avenue..." she trailed off on other details I need like their phone number so I can give them a call and tell them I will be there advisor once they give me a brief on what they looking for. And with that Jane left me to it but not before telling me there was going to be a promotion if I do a great job within the next month.

6:30 the next day came to quick and now here I was stood outside of the oh so famous place I selected pizza hut. Did I debate on showing my face here? Yes. Did I tell myself I'm being stupid? Yes. I also asked myself why I should listen to his excuses for the benefit of himself, I told myself I didn't know. Closure perhaps. Have I also considered he may not even show up? Yes, yes I have...

"Hello welcome to pizza hut, do you have a reservation or?" the server asked politely.

"No, can I just have a table for two please." I gave a small smile.

"Okay, wait here a minute and I'll just check there's a table free." She gave a smile and she left. I felt a tug on my coat sleeve.

"Hey, where's she going?" Edward asked. I'm surprised he showed. I stared at him, it wasn't a hopefully look, it wasn't a please I still love you look. It was a `are you seriously going to try and act normal around me, after everything?' look. But I answered anyhow. Why cause I'm stupid and I came here to sort this out, not to play the child card.

"Going to see if there's a table for two ready."

"Okay right this way... Oh are you two together this evening?" she asked. I didn't answer. I didn't want to. And neither did I have to. He did.

"yes." He smiled. Giving all his charm. She blushed. Of course she did.

"Well right this way." She smiled at him. Of course she would only smile at him. And now here I sit waiting to see how tonight is going to turn out... goodie

**Pixie here, hola. If you wanna know what the song is it's all summer long by kid rock :D**

**umm I have no idea where this chapter was going I didnt even plan it as for most of these chapters wont be planned :S ahh well just going with whatever the hell I type XD**

**I would try abit of reverse phycology (yeah I dont know how to spell that :L) and not ask for reviews then I may get some more but I cant resist from asking so please please review on what you think or anything you want to say, I take good or bad. so please review :D and thank you to the people that have reviewed and added my story to their favourites, it makes me really happy :D  
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**byee byee for now next chapter soon, and I know I kind of left it on a little bit of a cliffy, sorry... well I'm not but hey ;] byee **

**~ Pixieeee XD**


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